How to break the silent treatment in a relationship

Six Ways to Respond to the Silent Treatment in Relationships | PairedLife

how to break the silent treatment in a relationship

The silent treatment in a relationship is a type of emotional abuse. If you insist on giving me the silent treatment, I'm afraid I'll have to break things off between. Dec 18, The silent treatment is when one person in a relationship ignores the other It is important to break this communication pattern, and there are. It's an incredibly hard pattern to break because both partners lay the blame at the Nobody engages the silent treatment expecting it to damage the relationship.

On the other hand, if you think that he's been using the towels to show you that he doesn't respect you, and you're wanting him to show you that he does by picking up his towels, you're heading into demand territory. A goal of making another person do what you want will never work in the long run! Once you fully understand what meaning you assign to an event, and what goal you want to reach, you can figure out how to get it done without your partner's help. You might discover that you want to hire someone, have fewer towels available, or pick them up yourself instead of arguing.

Refusal to speak to another person is passive-aggressive form of communication.

How The Silent Treatment Is Damaging Your Relationship And What To Do About It

If you honestly believe your partner is inconsiderate of you, then it's up to you to only get involved with people who are considerate enough that you feel loved instead of fighting. If you're questioning whether to be in relationship, you really only need consider your own viewpoints, not your partners. Their opinions, values, and reasons are irrelevant while you figure out what you want. Then when you talk about it with him, describe the way you feel, listen to their views respectfully, and see if you can work together to find common ground.

The Victim's Role In some cases, the silent partner is attempting to escape another toxic dynamic.

how to break the silent treatment in a relationship

If you are trying to force them to change or do things your way, you're giving them a reason to withdraw. If you criticize them as a person or assigning blame instead of focusing on finding solutions, you're contributing to the dynamic.

If you let yourself feel like a victim, get depressed, or pout, you must recognize that you've been engaging in control tactics, too, and pledge to stop. The silent treatment is part of a "demand-withdraw" pattern that is deadly to relationships! Finding Healthier Ways to Communicate This means you'll need to learn some healthier ways to confront issues, too, and learning takes time. You won't find a solution that works in just a few days or weeks. This may be a dynamic that has evolved over months or years, and it can take many months to replace it with better methods.

As you learn, so will your partner, but it won't be on your timeline, so focus on progress, because perfection's still a long, long way off. I hope these tips help you change your relationship and take steps to discourage stonewalling. I encourage you to use all of these steps, and to give yourself permission to make mistakes.

Learn from them and then get back on track. Walking on eggshells only allows your relationship to crumble further. It doesn't fix the problem!

How To Disarm the Silent Treatment

Source A Special Note About Abuse When people feel out of control, they seek ways to regain control, as we already discussed. If your partner is physically abusive, any change you make to how you respond to the silent treatment might escalate their behavior. Be prepared for this by having a plan to leave the environment if there appears to be a threat. Find a therapist who specializes in abuse.

Know who you can call upon, where you can stay, and save enough money to give you a cushion if you need one. Because people who give the silent treatment typically are trying to avoid uncomfortable confrontation, most of them won't resort to this, but I mention it because it's always one of the options people have for regaining control.

I wish you the best.

how to break the silent treatment in a relationship

Show the world that you won't simply be written off, and the world will respond by listening. When he came to visit me one day, I chose that moment to meet him at the door and tell him it was over between us. I was glad to be free of him at last. It is hurtful and is a type of emotional abuse that is used as a manipulation tactic.

How To Disarm the Silent Treatment - The Good Men Project

Why do people use the silent treatment? As my story demonstrates, silence is a weapon. It can be used to punish, control, disempower, or run away from a person or problem. People who use silent treatment to manipulate often have the following characteristics: They never learned to express themselves assertively. They have strong narcissistic tendencies. If you know someone who displays these characteristics, and that person gives you the silent treatment on a regular basis, know that you are not powerless against them.

Here are the six things you can do to respond to the silent treatment in your relationship: Dig deep into the reasons for the silent treatment.

how to break the silent treatment in a relationship

They may have trouble expressing themselves, especially when it comes to negative emotions like anger and grief.

They only care about the power silence gives them — the power to compel you to do what they want, the power to make you grovel at their feet, the power to make you do feel desperate to get back in their good graces.

Before doing anything drastic about the silent treatment, make sure you know where the silence comes from. Ask the person directly why they clam up and let them know how it makes you feel. Avoid letting the silent treatment get the better of you. Remember that people who give the silent treatment are looking to get a particular reaction out of you. Preoccupy yourself with other things to keep your thoughts away from the incident. Directly respond to the silent treatment with calmness, and talk to the person kindly.

But what can I do? There must be some way for me to learn how to deal with the silent treatment in my marriage. Any advice for me?

5 Tips for Dealing With the Silent Treatment in a Relationship

It happens when one partner pressures the other with requests, criticism or complaints and is met with avoidance or silence. Below are the results of a research study on the silent treatment in relationships, plus tips on dealing with it. Research from Paul Schrodt, Ph. This professor and graduate director of communication studies also found that the damage caused by the silent treatment can be both emotional and physical.

  • 5 Tips for Dealing With the Silent Treatment in a Relationship
  • 6 Ways To Deal With The Silent Treatment In A Relationship
  • Six Ways to Respond to the Silent Treatment in Relationships

And, believe it or not, the silent treatment is associated with anxiety and aggression as well as physiological effects such as urinary, bowel or erectile dysfunction. What is the silent treatment?

The silent treatment occurs when someone — your partner, best friend, family member — ignores you and refuses to speak to you. You can only change how you perceive and respond to your husband. One Blossom Tip a week. Even today, not being included in a group or community is a terrible thing to experience.