Ending a long term relationship for someone else

How to Break Up Respectfully (for Teens)

ending a long term relationship for someone else

“After ending a five-year on-again, off-again relationship, I finally closed that chapter of my life by dating someone else; I was 20 at the time. especially after a long-term relationship — he was a temporary replacement. Recently, a friend of mine told me she couldn't see a long-term future with But is it the right move to stay in a relationship with someone if you don't see close to his or her family and you live down the street from each other. You only have one life; don't stay in a relationship that isn't meeting your needs. versus leaving for someone else, and it becomes clear you're better off “If you are drawn to someone you have been close to for a long time.

However, you're only prolonging the agony if deep down you know you want to finish your primary relationship. Packing your bags and disappearing No further explanation is needed here. Holding on to anger and resentment costs too much precious energy When and how not to end a long-term relationship Avoid causing more hassle, pain and a potentially longer lasting and more expensive process.

Take heed of the following advice I may earn a commission from BetterHelp at no extra cost to you. Don't end a relationship during a telephone conversation. Don't leave a voicemail with either a hint or a clear message about ending.

Don't let someone else do the dirty job for you.

ending a long term relationship for someone else

Don't deliver the message in a public place. Ending a relationship in a public place should only be an option if you're worried about abuse see my article: Signs of an abusive relationship Don't tell friends, family members or colleagues you're ending your relationship or marriage before you tell your partner or spouse that it's over.

Don't end the relationship during a row - your partner may actually be pleased - it may be what she or he was hoping for! Don't write it online in any shape or form - email, Facebook status update or any other way. Don't give any kind of ultimatum. Breaking up an intimate relationship is never going to be easy.

So I'm afraid there's no point thinking you can 'just do it' without causing any pain. I'd always advise getting some professional help. It's so easy now to set up a session with an online licensed therapist.

It matters not what time it is or what device you're using. I'm guessing you've already had experience of endings before though How to end a relationship when you've experienced badly handled endings in the past We experience all kinds of endings in a life-time that happen to all people breaking up of couple relationships the death of loved ones endings caused by moves for whatever reason change of jobs the ends of friendships and so on.

You may have lost a grandparent or pet as a child. Or you may have suffered a family breakup with all the losses that entailed. Your previous experience of endings can become a template for those that follow.

Your thoughts, feelings and actions are based on what happened to you before. Therefore, I'm really chuffed that you're taking the time and trouble to find out how best to end your relationship. It's not an easy thing to do - so the more help and advice you can find, the better.

Let's start with how to have that potentially gut-wrenching conversation How to end a relationship Ways that make a difficult conversation easier Even if your spouse or partner is expecting bad news, your delivery of it needs careful thought and courage!


Being sure and well-prepared will help you do it more confidently and with empathy and compassion, when you want to leave your relationship. When we get bad, or even shocking, news our brain takes more time to comprehend what is happening.

I highly recommend you prepare yourself with self-hypnosis. Discover more about this affordable, effective and user-friendly aid in my article: Hypnosis FAQ and Downloads.

ending a long term relationship for someone else

Don't start waffling on about something else or say lots of reassuring things you don't mean. Don't offer to stay friends either. This will help you both to recover much quicker.

How to end a relationship confidently, gracefully and effectively

Yes, you too - even if you are the instigator of this ending. Doubtless you've been through a difficult enough time already. There's more help and advice on the following page Divorce Advice for Men and Women - discover what to say and when. How are you feeling? Also, you might feel angry and perhaps be suffering sleepless nights.

Of course, what you're going through does depend to some extent on why you married or stayed with your partner in the first place. Assuming that the two of you were together out of true love, you may find that the whole split is going to be more painful than you'd anticipated. Even if you have been falling out of love over a period of time. You may have already experienced that - or it may come to realise that later, when it's over and all the 'practical' stuff has been dealt with.

However, you may have been so focused on all the trouble and the actual separation that the meaning of the end has barely registered. No surprise then if it 'hits' you a little later. Unfortunately you'll probably have to deal with loads of unwanted negative emotions during the breaking up process. Fortunately, I can help you with this a little. Much of it depends on what led to the decline of your partnership.

However, I have some advice for you that may save you a lot of heartache: Don't say you're leaving in a fit of anger - the damage may be permanent without intention!

How to Break Up Respectfully

Don't say it's over in the hope that it will 'make' your partner do what you want them to do. The moment you hurl accusations at someone, their ears close.

Don't be surprised if you feel that your partner doesn't seem to listen. The more emotional we are as human beings the less able we are to make sense of, or understand, things.

You may just be adding to your lawyer's bill. Do you need legal advice? Particularly if you've been living together, you have joint assets and you're considering moving out. If there's any chance that you might get into difficulties about that, make sure that you're aware of both your legal rights.

How to find a lawyer. Staying in touch - a good idea or not? What are your own expectations of how long you'd want to carry on seeing your ex-partner? It speaks for itself that if you have children, you need to be prepared to be parents together for the rest of your lives.

Totally Legitimate Reasons to Leave Your Partner for Someone Else

And incidentally - any future partners will need to know that you come 'as a package'. If your children are still young, clearly there's likely to be regular contact to ensure that their needs are met.

ending a long term relationship for someone else

How long you need to stay in touch and the quality of contact depends on a number of factors. Finally So there you have it! You now know how to break up with someone in the most compassionate and reasoned way. It will also make it - potentially - that much easier to start a new relationship. Ask our expert What advice can you give me after a break-up? It may take some time to get over and recognise there will always be good days and bad days.

Try not to take it personally because relationship break-ups happen all the time. Many people feel upset or angry during this time. Try not to feel embarrassed or to worry about how the situation will look to others.

Now is the time to focus on yourself. Try to see the positives in a break-up. You can learn more about yourself and what you want in future relationships. Remember that with time and support you can pull through a relationship break-up and come out feeling stronger at the other end. Always think about how you would want to be treated in the same situation.

Try to end things in a way that respects the other person but be honest.

ending a long term relationship for someone else

Be clear and tell the other person why the relationship is over. Understand that the other person might be hurt and possibly angry about your decision. When your ex moves on It can be really upsetting if you find out that your ex has a new relationship. Try to avoid thinking about them being with someone else. Talk to somebody about it and get help from a trusted adult, like a parent or teacher. Thinking about a new relationship? Take some time out before beginning another relationship.

Think about what you want in your next relationship, such as having more independence or being more honest with the other person. Getting more confident and comfortable about being single is also a healthy step forward.