VAV Healthy Relationships
Building healthy patterns early in your relationship can establish a solid . Each of us enters into romantic relationships with ideas about what we want based on . In romantic relationships, as with so much else, it's the little things that count. Building a romantic relationship isn't jsut about the initial bonding – it's about. Discover how to build a more nurturing and loving romantic relationship that's built upon authentic love and a caring spirit.
Explore each other's interests so that you have a long list of things to enjoy together. Try new things together to expand mutual interests. Establish a pattern of apologizing if you make a mistake or hurt your partner's feelings.
Saying "I'm sorry" may be hard in the moment, but it goes a long way towards healing a rift in a relationship.
Your partner will trust you more if he or she knows that you will take responsibility for your words and actions. As the Months Go By: Changes in life outside your relationship will impact what you want and need from the relationship. Since change is inevitable, welcoming it as an opportunity to enhance the relationship is more fruitful than trying to keep it from happening.
Occasionally set aside time to check in with each other on changing expectations and goals. If a couple ignores difficult topics for too long, their relationship is likely to drift into rocky waters without their noticing.
What to Do When Conflict Arises Disagreements in a relationship are not only normal but, if constructively resolved, actually strengthen the relationship.
It is inevitable that there will be times of sadness, tension, or outright anger between you and your partner. Resolving conflicts requires honesty, a willingness to consider your partner's perspective even if you don't fully understand it, and lots of communication.
Healthy communication is critical, especially when there are important decisions regarding sex, career, marriage, and family to be made. The following are some guidelines for successful communication and conflict resolution. Understand Each Others' Family Patterns.
Find out how conflicts were managed or not managed in your partner's family, and talk about how conflict was approached or avoided in your own family. It is not unusual for couples to discover that their families had different ways of expressing anger and resolving differences.
If your family wasn't good at communicating or resolving conflict constructively, give yourself permission to try out some new ways of handling conflict. Contrary to previous notions, the best time to resolve a conflict may not be immediately. It is not unusual for one or both partners to need some time to cool off. This "time-out' period can help you avoid saying or doing hurtful things in the heat of the moment, and can help partners more clearly identify what changes are most important.
Remember - if you are angry with your partner but don't know what you want yet, it will be nearly impossible for your partner to figure it out! Establish an Atmosphere of Emotional Support. Emotional support involves accepting your partner's differences and not insisting that he or she meet your needs only in the precise way that you want them met. Find out how your partner shows his or her love for you, and don't set absolute criteria that require your partner to always behave differently before you're satisfied.
Agree to Disagree and Move On. Most couples will encounter some issues upon which they will never completely agree. Rather than continuing a cycle of repeated fights, agree to disagree and negotiate a compromise or find a way to work around the issue. Distinguish between things you want versus things you need from your partner. For example, for safety reasons, you might need your partner to remember to pick you up on time after dark.
But calling you several times a day may really only be a "want. A clear message involves a respectful but direct expression of your wants and needs. Take some time to identify what you really want before talking to your partner. Work on being able to describe your request in clear, observable terms. For example, you might say, "I would like you to hold my hand more often" rather than the vague, "I wish you were more affectionate.
It can be tempting to list your concerns or grievances, but doing so will likely prolong an argument. Do your best to keep the focus on resolving one concern at a time.
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Being a good listener requires the following: You might start this process with: Research has found that couples who "edit" themselves and do not say all the angry things they may be thinking are typically the happiest. Adopt a "Win-Win" Position. A "win-win" stance means that your goal is for the relationship, rather than for either partner, to "win" in a conflict situation.
Holding on to unrealistic expectations can cause a relationship to be unsatisfying and to eventually fail. The following will help you to distinguish between healthy and problematic relationship expectations: What you want from a relationship in the early months of dating may be quite different from what you want after you have been together for some time.
Anticipate that both you and your partner will change over time. Feelings of love and passion change with time, as well. Respecting and valuing these changes is healthy. Love literally changes brain chemistry for the first months of a relationship. For both physiological and emotional reasons, an established relationship will have a more complex and often richer type of passion than a new relationship.
It is difficult, but healthy, to accept that there are some things about our partners that will not change over time, no matter how much we want them to.
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Unfortunately, there is often an expectation that our partner will change only in the ways we want. Be Flexible in Your Approach As your relationship matures and moves through its progressive stages, you may find that you will also need to change and adapt accordingly. Many relationships falter as they progress past the initial attraction stage because partners fail to understand that they need to be flexible in their approach and change accordingly as their relationship evolves to another level.
To encourage the act of flexibility, learn to ask yourself solution-focused questions. Support Your Partner Whenever you judge, criticize or condemn your partner, at that very moment you are creating conflict and bitterness towards you and your relationship with this person.
When you wholeheartedly support your partner, it shows in your actions, your demeanor, and in your approach. When support is lacking many other things will begin to break down within a relationship. Begin by showing them that you care, talk to them about their concerns and challenges, and be there for them in their time of greatest need.
Cultivate an Optimistic Outlook It is easy for us to get disgruntled and depressed when things are simply not going our way. If problems or challenges are testing your relationship, then see them as a blessing in disguise. Actually, see them as experiences you can learn from to build even stronger bonds between you and your partner. Your own perspective will either make or break a relationship.
It all begins with you and expands from there. Focus Only on Solutions Focusing on solutions is closely linked to cultivating an optimistic outlook.
However, the major difference is that when you are focusing on solutions, you specifically target potential scenarios that will strengthen and build on the current problems and challenges that may be holding your relationship back from evolving to the next level.
The easiest way to begin cultivating this kind of mindset is to ask effective solution focused questions that will expand your way of thinking in new directions. If in the future you are ever dealing with a similar problem or challenge in your life, then the miWisdom set of questions will set you on the right track towards a solution-focused mindset.
Accept Yourself Wholeheartedly Self-acceptance is an absolutely critical factor when it comes to the ongoing success of your relationship. Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner had very low self-esteem, and as a result, this ended up sabotaging your relationship? Yes indeed, I am sure this has happened to a great deal of us, in fact, you may have been the one with the low self-esteem, and as a result, your partner might have walked away.
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As a human species, we are naturally attracted to confident and decisive partners who feel good about their own body and mind. Your first step is to accept this statement as FACT. Secondly, begin today by truly and wholeheartedly loving yourself from head to toe, inside and out, body, brain, soul, and spirit.
You are a unique and wonderful person who deserves the very best life has to offer. Begin today by spending more time with yourself and appreciating your uniqueness and beauty. Once you have fully grasped and understood this, only then will you be ready to love another person wholeheartedly without hesitation.
Building a More Nurturing and Loving Romantic Relationship
Accept All Imperfections This naturally leads on from the previous point. First, you must accept yourself and all your imperfections openly and fully. You are not perfect and never will be in the human form. Accept this as FACT and understand that your partner will never be perfect either.
Like you, they also have imperfections and little things that they do that may not be to your liking. Instead, learn to cultivate the mindset of acceptance and wholeheartedly accept them for who they are. Go ahead, take a good long look and see the beauty that lies hidden within these depths.
This is literally an eye-opening experience. Once you lock-in on that beauty that lies within, you will never look at your partner the same way again. When we are in love, it just makes sense to tell our partner how much we love them over and over again.