How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Long Distance Relationship - Chronic Migraine Life
As a person who has struggled with anxiety for really as long as I can remember, that's a good thing! I've also been in a long-distance relationship for a little. It's completely normal to feel like this in a long distance relationship. No longer must someone in a long-distance relationship pin all their . that long- distance relationships may bring slightly higher worries about.
Are they feeling the same way I do?
- The 10 Stages Of Every Long Distance Relationship
- How to Cope with Anxiety in a Long-distance Relationship
- The SKOUT Blog
At least he comes to my house every day. Long distance relationships suck. All three of my significant relationships have involved long distance in some way. As a young man who was terrified of any sort of commitment whatsoever, I found that I could only allow myself to fall for a girl if she was at least miles away.
The second one, we both agreed that our lives were taking us to different parts of the world and we were probably better off letting it gowe then struggled to, you know, actually let go over the next year. The third, because we had both done this before, we immediately made plans to end the distance as soon as possible six months and then made the appropriate sacrifices to do so. Usually, this will be the next time you are both able to see each other.
The minute you stop having some milestone to look forward to together, it will become harder to maintain the same enthusiasm and optimism for each other.
Chronic Migraine Life
And this is more important than ever in long distance relationships. You must be evolving towards something. You must have some cause that unites you at all times. You must both have a converging trajectory at some point on the horizon. Otherwise, you will inevitably drift apart. In some cases, people get insanely jealous or irrationally possessive of their partner because they perceive every casual social outing without them as potentially threatening to their relationship.
Are you hiding something from me? I am the only fun in your life!
All of these irrational fantasies are unhelpful. Make Communication Optional A lot of long distance couples create rules or expectations that they should have X number of calls or that they need to talk every night at a certain time.
How to Cope with Anxiety in a Long-distance Relationship
You can even find some articles online recommending this sort of behavior. You talk to each other when you want to, not because you have to. And if that means going days without communicating, then so be it. People get busy, after all. Suspenders just wants to play Candy Crush.
When you force communication, two things can happen. Welcome to every shitty marriage ever. This half-assed communication often creates more problems than it solves. Like, if your partner seems more interested in his tax returns than catching up with you, chances are you should just hang up and try again tomorrow.
There is such a thing as overexposure. The second problem that can happen from forcing communication is that one or both people can begin to resent feeling obligated to the other person all of the time. The best way to go is to make all communication optional. Both of you can opt out at any time. The trick is to not take these opt outs personally when they happen — after all, your partner is not your slave. If your partner spontaneously feels as though she only wants to talk a few times a week instead of a few times a day, that is both the cause AND the effect of her feeling more distant.
And easier said than done. Dread The first stage of any long distance relationship is before the distance starts, when you begin to dread the idea of being away from your partner.
Nobody wants to say goodbye, and this is the stage that is going to determine whether or not you and your SO are going to make the big sacrifice and stay together despite the distance. We can beat the distance. We can prove everybody wrong. We can do this. Everything is well in the world as long as you have each other. Who is that girl with her arm around my boyfriend? That being said, this is the stage in which you and your partner must solidify your trust. Trust The key to every relationship is trust and communication.
You must learn to build trust in your relationship, meaning that if you see a picture of your SO from a party on social media, do not immediately jump to conclusions.
This sounds ridiculously difficult, but it is possible—with a lot of communication, trust and support. Habit Your relationship is going to start feeling habitual.
All long distance couples go through this stage. Your SO will become your one constant in life, someone who is always there for you both spiritually and mentally. Uncertainty Uncertainty is a stage that will come up time and time again in any long distance relationship. It is natural to be uncertain; nobody can predict the future. When you enter this stage, you will wonder to yourself why you are going through all this pain for one person.
Fights are bound to happen and they will raise important questions about your relationship. The trick is to fight the core of the problem right away and make sure that it does not cause other issues to arise.